Hilarious relatable stories about dogs

Posts tagged “funny

Double Trouble

Having two dogs is an experience that is worth all the trouble. There will be times that just seem so hectic that you want to be like an ostrich and bury your head in the sand, but those troubles will never amount to the joy you will receive once you learn to laugh about them. They’re like any experience in life;with a joke here & there, they can make a great story.

Young pups are the cutest damn things you will ever squeal over. It’s terrible what they can get away with while putting on that innocent puppy look. They will though, and until the hole in the wall becomes larger than anything that can hide it, you’ll just have to deal with it. Sure you’re going to have to deal with double the responsibility & double the problems, but hey, it’s worth it. You’ll get to meet different people who you never would have before. You see things in a different way. The path you decide to walk on isn’t chosen for no reason, it goes back to our instincts. We want the path of least resistance, and if that means planning ahead to avoid the walkers or just to have the most fun, we’ll do it.

We go through some satisfying times as we have dogs. That first walk, on which you stop every 100 feet to listen to the crazy ladies & their silly voices. Those first tricks that make you feel like Cesar Millan. With two dogs I’ve heard it’s easier to train. Psh, yeah right! It’s constant sibling rivalry, jumping, pushing, & dying for your attention on every move you make. They say it’s easy, but really, I think that was just all the dog whisperers’ jokes on everyday dog owners. We must treat them that way as well, just jokes, because really, there’s no right way to training your dog into being that all-star. There will be bumps, and you’re going to have both high & low moments, but in the end, you’re going to favor the choice you made, even after all the renovations you’ve had to make.

What are you dog raising stories?

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The Sandy Experience

For us fortunate enough to live on or nearby the beach, we know that this is the dog walker’s paradise. Everybody comes to have a good time, exercise, & just relax. Only if this was the case for the common-day dog owner. This is a prime location to test how well you have trained you canine, or just to show off your pup!

The beach is a place to have a blast with your pup, be it the respectful, loved by all fun, or the entertainment you would expect in Marley & Me. The last time I brought my pup to the beach, she met another dog, Harley, about the same age, and you know two puppies on the beach is just bound to be entertaining! So we let them run around, terrorizing whoever crossed their path, as well as  giving some energy to the older dogs wandering around. Oh the picnickers never expected it, but in all the enjoyment the pups had ran through their nice blanket, circled them like a gang, & once we had ‘sensed’ the ladies’ negative energy, we decided to intervene. We felt bad of course, but that all flew out the window when they had to yell out their “advice”. The trip was still an amazing experience and a great way to meet people!

We all have our goals for the perfect time at the beach, just you & your canine. You imagine all those stories of someone surrounded by all the girls, drooling over how adorable his puppy is. This isn’t a hard quest at all when you’re carrying around a cute little pup, but it becomes a challenge once the little hops turn into full on “dances”, and the tugging turns into dragging. Now you would have to work for this dream. You always see that one guy having a blast playing fetch with his dog in the water. You want that, don’t you? Little do you know, you will end up fetching the ball yourself most of the time because hey, your dog just doesn’t want to get wet today!

Even I have my dreams for my canine companion. Eventually I aim for her to be “socially acceptable”. Not jumping or pulling, and not barking at other “socially acceptable” dogs. I could only imagine that picnic scene now, with two big dogs jumping over some old ladies, eating their sandy sandwiches, and playing tug-o-war with their blanket. Now, even though I would enjoy telling that story a tremendous amount, I hope it won’t happen!

 

What are your canine beach dreams or have you already accomplished them?


Snow Dogs

The fresh dusting, slowly piling up to a couple feet. You rub your eyes in disbelief but it’s really there! You let the dog out, rip the door open and whilst maintaining your balance, you & your canine run barefoot/leashless out into the massive amount of overnight snow. You’re the happiest you’ve been in a long time, seeing your pup race through the powder, kicking up a trail wherever she goes.

Dogs are hilarious in snow. I don’t know about you, but I’m the type that when they see the first snowflake falling, our heart skips a beat. Once winter comes along, we can’t wait for the first day of snow. What makes this wonderful substance even better is that our dogs love it too! One of the odd things my dog does is that she loves to eat snowballs. It’s an interesting experience playing fetch with a snowball when there’s a couple feet of snow on the ground I must tell you… The dogs just love to eat it though, and I’m the type of person that loves to have that perfect yard, where there’s not one footprint out of place, where the snow is left pure & untouched. Except on occasion I have been known for breaking this habit and tearing up the yard with my canine companions. I’m sure the neighbors have questioned me as they sit in their warm house behind their perfectly untouched yard with their “perfect” driveway that was shoveled ten minutes after the snow had started falling;but who’s going to stop this stampede of fun?!

Walks in the snow are an unforgettable experience. You have your trail walks where you can take your perfect photos, race through the slightly dusted wonderland, or just embrace the mystical world as you slowly pace yourself & your psychotic animal… Orrrrr you can test your luck by running through the streets, racing your off-leash dogs, and doing an electric slide move every couple of seconds! These are the moments to remember. The times that you were able to have a blast in a neighborhood full of different walkers, but you’re lucky because you know that nobody likes snow in this neighborhood. Psh, who would like complete silence (sans our joyous yelps) at 4:00 AM, or running through those perfectly untouched lawns. Blasphemy! We’re lucky to have such boring neighbors, for if we didn’t, we might have a competition to ruin those perfect lawns or to see who can stay up the longer!

What’s your snow dog tale?


Klutz

That crash, those claws, I hear them everyday. Dogs just never seem to learn that racing over hardwood floors isn’t the same as the luscious lawn in the back. And that wall that’s been there for however many years, yeah, it’s not going to move out of the way when you decide to smack your head into it! Dog’s are just designed to be awkward klutzes I believe. Those huge legs, that big clunky head, and that long tail that has enough force to knock a person over! It’s a disaster waiting to happen.

Fortunately they make for good stories, especially when you have people that decide to put turtle wax at the bottom of the stairs! There’s been so many instances where the dogs have been extremely excited to go outside or have her food, and they fly down the stairs & crash into the floor or sometimes the front door! You can hear the whole house burst into laughing afterward. The most enjoyable moment for me is when they finally remember to take a slightly slower pace, and my dog does one of those Scooby Doo run-in-place scenes!

Thud. Thud. Thud. Are dogs really not aware of their tails or even their heads? It seems like every time the dog is walking around the house, she runs into walls, nearly misses corners, and smacks her tail on every surface possible! Maybe it’s her way of getting attention, and of course she get’s it, except in the form of laughter! Even their feet are bad. There are times when we run on the trails & she will just walk straight off! She’s lucky that I have her on leash or we would’ve had to found some way to navigate down the trail-side on more than one occasion…  It makes me wonder how they survive in the wild, but that must be one of the reasons they stay in packs! A pack wouldn’t work well with my dog though… She tends to run better backwards rather than forwards… It’s a weird site because she jumps side to side as she does it as well!

What’s your dogs clumsiest moment?


Photography

We all try to get that perfect shot with us and our dogs having the best time of our lives, but it doesn’t always work out. Those amazing trails, with the most outstanding sights;they have to be kept as a memory some how! Only if it were easy to catch that “Kodak moment.” Only if it were that easy, I wouldn’t be writing about this!

Your first attempts will work out with a minimal amount of satisfaction. You may catch half of the dog’s head, but you’ll blink and use that as an excuse to delete it. Here comes that silly voice to catch the dog’s attention! Wrong move bucko! Now it’s play time and play time is not meant for sitting down patiently in front of that oh so beautiful waterfall. You’ll be pulled around, maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll avoid that muddy paw print on your new white pants. Too bad today’s not your lucky day. She jumps on you just wanting some kisses & love, wiping her beautiful prints across those freshly pressed pants. You quickly lick your finger and try to rub it off, only to make it smudge some more.

You’re on a mission now. You didn’t go through all that trouble just to walk away, no. You’re going to get this shot whether or not it takes all day! You’ll get the hang of it, eventually. You figure out the dog’s patterns and what will make her sit long enough to take that perfect shot. You smile, she…smiles(?), we’re all happy, and once you praise her for the great modeling she’s done, you let her off the leash to frolic about. You check that beautiful device of yours… Blurry. All that effort and on-the-spot training you put to use wasn’t good enough for your camera apparently. Not to worry though. You notice that some of your other attempts weren’t all that bad after all… Both of you are in the shot, for the most part. Both of you are having fun, so it appears at least. You have that shot you wanted, and more! You just gained an unforgettable memory!

*New Achievement Earned!*

Have any great/silly shots of you & your animals?


Why?

We all know dogs love to eat, and mine especially. There’s some dogs you could hold a kibble to there whiskers and they wouldn’t even flinch, but then there’s my dog. Sure you can hand feed her if you want to lose a finger or two, I just wouldn’t advise it.

Every morning I let her out, and as we come in she sits on the stairs oh so patiently, but as you touch her collar to remove the leash, she whips her head back, books it around the corner whilst almost knocking you down, and she runs for the food dish sitting like an angel as if nothing had happened.  Grab a cup full. Watch her spin in circles as if that will get her more. Pour the kibble and watch her drop to the ground on cue. I look at her, she’s still hovering off the ground a little bit, so I wait 5 more seconds and she lowers… Get it I tell her and she does a Scooby Doo run-in-place type maneuver, dashing for the food and she eats it as if it were her last and she had to compete with a million wolves to get it! She scarves it down and of course she has to search all around the room to see if she missed one kibble, but she didn’t so she’ll have to lick the floor just because that makes sense, right?

I don’t understand these dogs that wolf down their meals every time, even though there’s nobody else around or even willing to go near her whilst she feasts. I suppose she will never change and that’s just a part of her “personality”, but geeze it can’t be healthy.

Any advice to those dogs/owners?


The Things We Do…

Yes it happens, we do sometimes change our routes on walks, or randomly pretend to tie our shoes just to get an extra couple seconds behind certain people before a trail… It’s not like we don’t like the people… well maybe sometimes they can be a bit chatty, but that’s besides the point.

You’ve been through the pulling, the barking, the jumping, and just the strange people… Sometimes it’s okay to think ahead as you see a couple slowly walk into that trail that you allllways go on. You imagine how funny it would be getting brown, muddy paw prints all over her white pants or his favorite hoodie, but you decide not to… So you do that awkward slow-paced walk to the mouth of the trail, then you just do anything for maybe a minute or two, because you know that once you’re on that trail, you’re going to run so fast that you’ll almost go straight off the side and into the water. Because of the dog? No. Because it’s fun!

You walk along the streets do you? So nowhere to hide basically… Well it’s all fun and games when she’s a cute puppy trying to give the crazy dog lady down the street “hugs & kisses” but when they get older, they don’t seem as cute for some reason… “Can she have a treat” they ask acting like that’ll make the dog quiet and polite… Yeah right! But you say yes, not to be rude or anything, but then it’s time to go.

You decide, “Hey, it’s a nice rainy day, who’s going to be out there?” HA! Little do you know several people are at their doorway just waiting for you two to step outside. Ahhhh the typical routine goes on and you go home the same as always, a little annoyed, still happy, and plotting a new plan of attack.

What’s your best story?