Hilarious relatable stories about dogs

Posts tagged “dog

Toys

We all imagine our adorable animals sitting by the fire, delicately chewing on their fresh new toy, but that’s just delusional! Most of us have figured out that dogs are difficult to buy toys for; there’s a science to it. Sure that squeaky turtle seems like the perfect thing, but guess what, you’re wrong! That little squeaker will be out in seconds, fluff will be hanging from Fido’s jowls,  and once he’s finished, the flat, hole-filled turtle will be left in the centre of the room, surrounded by remnants of what used to be his cuteness.

The gimmicks in stores amuse me. Sure they’re fun to squeeze until the manager glares you down, or when you launch them down the isles, but really they’re only going to be fun for you, or an old dog that needs a new pillow. We have the loud squeakers that will grab your dog’s attention quicker than a squirrel, but that’s not necessarily the best thing once they grow curious to where this annoying sound is coming from. Balls, sure it’s the go-to thing. Dogs love balls, right? Well yeah, but it takes time to find the right ball. Most balls will grow massive holes for some odd reason, or are just plain too hard to get any joy from. If you have a dog like mine, she loves to rip the fabric around those colourful animal looking things instantly! The most recent attraction seems to be the ‘flying squirrel’ & other variants. Fun right? I suppose maybe if your dog doesn’t have teeth or is as gentle as a duckling, but for the most part they aren’t. Their teeth will dig holes, and of course they will start with the tag! It’s rather amusing once you deal with the fact that the toy just wont last, so you decide to play tug-of-war with what’s left of the stretchy arms and all!

Now for the great toys that should, in theory, last forever! Kongs seems to be the most popular toy at the moment! Though I haven’t seen anyone buy those massive Kongs the size of boat buoys. Those just seem excessive. The small ones are lifesavers for the owner of the dog that’s teething or has enough pent up energy to chew through a wall. I can’t find a way to explain the next toy… It’s an odd squishy, foamish feeling ball that never seems to rip. They seem to last a long time, withstanding dog vs. dog tug-o-war fights, days in the pool, and just everyday chewing. An old ball, this you may have overlooked. We have an old football that the dogs love to fight over, running until they both collapse of exhaustion. These old things are great & cheap, and it really doesn’t matter if they gain holes because for some odd reason they fill back up with air!? This is greatly entertaining for the animals!

 

What’s your chew toy gone wrong experience?


Tiny Terrors

Size has no meaning in the animal kingdom. The way that little terriers can bark up a great dane to the point of frolicking off like a coward! Dogs always seem to be different when it comes to size and capabilities. I’ve been greeted by some rather terrible terriers that were as cute as a button, but when it comes to great danes, I consider them a friendly horse

For some odd reason the smallest, cutest dogs always seem to have a bad personality. Every walk I go on there’s always some walker that’s hiding in a bush, or carrying their little demon of a dog in their arms because they just can’t stop barking! I’m sure these dogs are in the ‘biting category’ as well, they just aren’t given the opportunity, thank god. On the other hand, the hand that seems to always be hidden somewhere, these tiny cuddly devils can be rather cute and lovable! I can’t elaborate on this subject too much, for I really haven’t seen too many of these rare sitings. It’s always the loud ‘bad’ dogs that stand out with their crazy owners. I question how far they think is a ‘safe distance’ from others, because really, if you’re ten meters from the trail, I think, just maybe, you’re taking it a bit too far. But you never know, all those trees, all that distance, it’s no challenge for the fierce fury of the ten pound beast at the end of the leash! Those people that pick up their dogs at the first site of life amuse me. They act as if they own the streets & that you don’t even exist! A nod of the head or even a glance would be appreciated, but when they strut faster than Miss Universe with the imaginary blinders of a horse carrying royalty, it really makes me question their sanity!

The highly regarded, well behaved large-dog walker is the goal for most. He is the one that the kids run out of no where to cuddle up with and pet without a fear of losing a finger. These dogs are the ones you love to be around, and that you will most certainly not, I hope, be seen carried around the neighborhood by some crazy lady. This is a great achievement once completed, & should be treated as such. Those that have not quite met this level of greatness have fallen into the ‘at risk’ area. The ‘at risk’ large dogs are the ones that old ladies quiver over, and that suburban families tell their suburban children to look out for. We’ve all met one of these dogs, be them jumpers, barkers, biters, or leash pullers. They are not the most liked for their habits, but at least for the most part it is just due to their undying need for attention. The leash pullers tend to be lovers, just dying for a lick! Those barkers tend to be lovers as well, just needing someone to throw the ball, much like the insomniac dog across from my house!

Dogs are very unique in the way that they take on very different personalities which should not be determined by their size! That cute little fluff ball of joy may just take off a finger!

What’s your dog’s story?


Why?

We all know dogs love to eat, and mine especially. There’s some dogs you could hold a kibble to there whiskers and they wouldn’t even flinch, but then there’s my dog. Sure you can hand feed her if you want to lose a finger or two, I just wouldn’t advise it.

Every morning I let her out, and as we come in she sits on the stairs oh so patiently, but as you touch her collar to remove the leash, she whips her head back, books it around the corner whilst almost knocking you down, and she runs for the food dish sitting like an angel as if nothing had happened.  Grab a cup full. Watch her spin in circles as if that will get her more. Pour the kibble and watch her drop to the ground on cue. I look at her, she’s still hovering off the ground a little bit, so I wait 5 more seconds and she lowers… Get it I tell her and she does a Scooby Doo run-in-place type maneuver, dashing for the food and she eats it as if it were her last and she had to compete with a million wolves to get it! She scarves it down and of course she has to search all around the room to see if she missed one kibble, but she didn’t so she’ll have to lick the floor just because that makes sense, right?

I don’t understand these dogs that wolf down their meals every time, even though there’s nobody else around or even willing to go near her whilst she feasts. I suppose she will never change and that’s just a part of her “personality”, but geeze it can’t be healthy.

Any advice to those dogs/owners?