Hilarious relatable stories about dogs

Things we do

Midnight Madness

I don’t know about you, but I love to walk at night. It’s a time when you’re not going to encounter (m)any walkers, and the only decision you have to make is, “Which way should we go tonight,” for you have endless possibilities! You’re not the only one that loves these walks either! Dogs are going to love the freedom, and you don’t have to worry about cars racing through the neighborhood or other dogs to impress.

Though the best time to go for a ‘midnight run’ is during winter whilst it’s snowing, any month will do. The only problem during summer that I have, is that the bugs are starting to come out, oh how I love those, and with bugs come bats. Not just the bat you see flying high in the sky, no, the bat that is going to chase you, the kind that circles you & comes so close to your face you squeal! Although I haven’t seen any response from the dogs, I’m sure if they realized what was going on, they’d want to chase it down the neighborhood. Midnight walks also bring out your nerves. You never really know if someone’s out there watching you, or who’s behind that rustling bush. This is where you’ll get your exercise, for once you hear that branch break you book it so fast that your dog will struggle to keep up.

Sure they may not be the wisest things in the world, but eh, you only live once right? So why not spend those extra hours, that would normally be spent watching some boring television show, or answering emails from people you really could care less about, with your dog instead. They are the ones that will appreciate it & I can promise you they wont judge, your neighbors may, but definitely not your dog.

Do you have any strange habits?


Summer Lovin’

The sun can bring the best out of our dogs. It’s an evident change between both the owner & their canine. You notice the extra skip in their step, and the once empty lawn is now filled with balls & family. The summer brings in a whole new batch of stories, the photography will be in abundance, the walkers will multiply with the extra traffic of tourists, and not to mention the extra time you will have will be perfect for noticing all of the quirks in your beloved animal.

The change from a frosty lawn to the balcony that burns your feet is an interesting change to my dogs. The runs seem to go on forever, but end quite quicker due to the dog’s tongue extending farther & farther from her mouth, and her breaths grow louder & louder. Not to worry though, because once we return home she books it for the kiddy-pool, dives in to fulfill her thirst, and after that she crashes into the wall only to bathe in the rays. The summer seems to bring in a long lost love for water, for once the sprinkler goes on, the dogs go nuts! They attack it as if it was their life’s only purpose! We put a spin on this strange habit by throwing it under the trampoline. It’s a blast when they jump on it I must say! The strange loss of balance, the sliding, the jumping, and the never-ending freak behavior has to be a hilarious sight for all! One of the best quirks my dog has is that she loooooves to eat peas. I don’t know if it’s just because it’s food & she’ll eat anything, or the need to be human, but we make her work for it! Whenever we find a pea that isn’t the most desirable or just would be more gratifying feeding to the dog, we throw it into the pool, and without hesitation the dog dives in right after it! I believe we started doing this ‘trick’ to get her familiar with water as a pup, but now it’s purely for entertainment!

The summer months can bring in a great change in our daily routines. We break free from the norm & extend our horizons, and we bring our canines with us on this adventure. The joy that your dog(s) will bring you is extremely gratifying and will give you many memories for the years to come. By the time winter comes, your scrap book will be full, and your next chapter shall begin!

What’s your favorite summer activity?


Double Trouble

Having two dogs is an experience that is worth all the trouble. There will be times that just seem so hectic that you want to be like an ostrich and bury your head in the sand, but those troubles will never amount to the joy you will receive once you learn to laugh about them. They’re like any experience in life;with a joke here & there, they can make a great story.

Young pups are the cutest damn things you will ever squeal over. It’s terrible what they can get away with while putting on that innocent puppy look. They will though, and until the hole in the wall becomes larger than anything that can hide it, you’ll just have to deal with it. Sure you’re going to have to deal with double the responsibility & double the problems, but hey, it’s worth it. You’ll get to meet different people who you never would have before. You see things in a different way. The path you decide to walk on isn’t chosen for no reason, it goes back to our instincts. We want the path of least resistance, and if that means planning ahead to avoid the walkers or just to have the most fun, we’ll do it.

We go through some satisfying times as we have dogs. That first walk, on which you stop every 100 feet to listen to the crazy ladies & their silly voices. Those first tricks that make you feel like Cesar Millan. With two dogs I’ve heard it’s easier to train. Psh, yeah right! It’s constant sibling rivalry, jumping, pushing, & dying for your attention on every move you make. They say it’s easy, but really, I think that was just all the dog whisperers’ jokes on everyday dog owners. We must treat them that way as well, just jokes, because really, there’s no right way to training your dog into being that all-star. There will be bumps, and you’re going to have both high & low moments, but in the end, you’re going to favor the choice you made, even after all the renovations you’ve had to make.

What are you dog raising stories?


The Sandy Experience

For us fortunate enough to live on or nearby the beach, we know that this is the dog walker’s paradise. Everybody comes to have a good time, exercise, & just relax. Only if this was the case for the common-day dog owner. This is a prime location to test how well you have trained you canine, or just to show off your pup!

The beach is a place to have a blast with your pup, be it the respectful, loved by all fun, or the entertainment you would expect in Marley & Me. The last time I brought my pup to the beach, she met another dog, Harley, about the same age, and you know two puppies on the beach is just bound to be entertaining! So we let them run around, terrorizing whoever crossed their path, as well as  giving some energy to the older dogs wandering around. Oh the picnickers never expected it, but in all the enjoyment the pups had ran through their nice blanket, circled them like a gang, & once we had ‘sensed’ the ladies’ negative energy, we decided to intervene. We felt bad of course, but that all flew out the window when they had to yell out their “advice”. The trip was still an amazing experience and a great way to meet people!

We all have our goals for the perfect time at the beach, just you & your canine. You imagine all those stories of someone surrounded by all the girls, drooling over how adorable his puppy is. This isn’t a hard quest at all when you’re carrying around a cute little pup, but it becomes a challenge once the little hops turn into full on “dances”, and the tugging turns into dragging. Now you would have to work for this dream. You always see that one guy having a blast playing fetch with his dog in the water. You want that, don’t you? Little do you know, you will end up fetching the ball yourself most of the time because hey, your dog just doesn’t want to get wet today!

Even I have my dreams for my canine companion. Eventually I aim for her to be “socially acceptable”. Not jumping or pulling, and not barking at other “socially acceptable” dogs. I could only imagine that picnic scene now, with two big dogs jumping over some old ladies, eating their sandy sandwiches, and playing tug-o-war with their blanket. Now, even though I would enjoy telling that story a tremendous amount, I hope it won’t happen!

 

What are your canine beach dreams or have you already accomplished them?


Toys

We all imagine our adorable animals sitting by the fire, delicately chewing on their fresh new toy, but that’s just delusional! Most of us have figured out that dogs are difficult to buy toys for; there’s a science to it. Sure that squeaky turtle seems like the perfect thing, but guess what, you’re wrong! That little squeaker will be out in seconds, fluff will be hanging from Fido’s jowls,  and once he’s finished, the flat, hole-filled turtle will be left in the centre of the room, surrounded by remnants of what used to be his cuteness.

The gimmicks in stores amuse me. Sure they’re fun to squeeze until the manager glares you down, or when you launch them down the isles, but really they’re only going to be fun for you, or an old dog that needs a new pillow. We have the loud squeakers that will grab your dog’s attention quicker than a squirrel, but that’s not necessarily the best thing once they grow curious to where this annoying sound is coming from. Balls, sure it’s the go-to thing. Dogs love balls, right? Well yeah, but it takes time to find the right ball. Most balls will grow massive holes for some odd reason, or are just plain too hard to get any joy from. If you have a dog like mine, she loves to rip the fabric around those colourful animal looking things instantly! The most recent attraction seems to be the ‘flying squirrel’ & other variants. Fun right? I suppose maybe if your dog doesn’t have teeth or is as gentle as a duckling, but for the most part they aren’t. Their teeth will dig holes, and of course they will start with the tag! It’s rather amusing once you deal with the fact that the toy just wont last, so you decide to play tug-of-war with what’s left of the stretchy arms and all!

Now for the great toys that should, in theory, last forever! Kongs seems to be the most popular toy at the moment! Though I haven’t seen anyone buy those massive Kongs the size of boat buoys. Those just seem excessive. The small ones are lifesavers for the owner of the dog that’s teething or has enough pent up energy to chew through a wall. I can’t find a way to explain the next toy… It’s an odd squishy, foamish feeling ball that never seems to rip. They seem to last a long time, withstanding dog vs. dog tug-o-war fights, days in the pool, and just everyday chewing. An old ball, this you may have overlooked. We have an old football that the dogs love to fight over, running until they both collapse of exhaustion. These old things are great & cheap, and it really doesn’t matter if they gain holes because for some odd reason they fill back up with air!? This is greatly entertaining for the animals!

 

What’s your chew toy gone wrong experience?


Snow Dogs

The fresh dusting, slowly piling up to a couple feet. You rub your eyes in disbelief but it’s really there! You let the dog out, rip the door open and whilst maintaining your balance, you & your canine run barefoot/leashless out into the massive amount of overnight snow. You’re the happiest you’ve been in a long time, seeing your pup race through the powder, kicking up a trail wherever she goes.

Dogs are hilarious in snow. I don’t know about you, but I’m the type that when they see the first snowflake falling, our heart skips a beat. Once winter comes along, we can’t wait for the first day of snow. What makes this wonderful substance even better is that our dogs love it too! One of the odd things my dog does is that she loves to eat snowballs. It’s an interesting experience playing fetch with a snowball when there’s a couple feet of snow on the ground I must tell you… The dogs just love to eat it though, and I’m the type of person that loves to have that perfect yard, where there’s not one footprint out of place, where the snow is left pure & untouched. Except on occasion I have been known for breaking this habit and tearing up the yard with my canine companions. I’m sure the neighbors have questioned me as they sit in their warm house behind their perfectly untouched yard with their “perfect” driveway that was shoveled ten minutes after the snow had started falling;but who’s going to stop this stampede of fun?!

Walks in the snow are an unforgettable experience. You have your trail walks where you can take your perfect photos, race through the slightly dusted wonderland, or just embrace the mystical world as you slowly pace yourself & your psychotic animal… Orrrrr you can test your luck by running through the streets, racing your off-leash dogs, and doing an electric slide move every couple of seconds! These are the moments to remember. The times that you were able to have a blast in a neighborhood full of different walkers, but you’re lucky because you know that nobody likes snow in this neighborhood. Psh, who would like complete silence (sans our joyous yelps) at 4:00 AM, or running through those perfectly untouched lawns. Blasphemy! We’re lucky to have such boring neighbors, for if we didn’t, we might have a competition to ruin those perfect lawns or to see who can stay up the longer!

What’s your snow dog tale?


Photography

We all try to get that perfect shot with us and our dogs having the best time of our lives, but it doesn’t always work out. Those amazing trails, with the most outstanding sights;they have to be kept as a memory some how! Only if it were easy to catch that “Kodak moment.” Only if it were that easy, I wouldn’t be writing about this!

Your first attempts will work out with a minimal amount of satisfaction. You may catch half of the dog’s head, but you’ll blink and use that as an excuse to delete it. Here comes that silly voice to catch the dog’s attention! Wrong move bucko! Now it’s play time and play time is not meant for sitting down patiently in front of that oh so beautiful waterfall. You’ll be pulled around, maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll avoid that muddy paw print on your new white pants. Too bad today’s not your lucky day. She jumps on you just wanting some kisses & love, wiping her beautiful prints across those freshly pressed pants. You quickly lick your finger and try to rub it off, only to make it smudge some more.

You’re on a mission now. You didn’t go through all that trouble just to walk away, no. You’re going to get this shot whether or not it takes all day! You’ll get the hang of it, eventually. You figure out the dog’s patterns and what will make her sit long enough to take that perfect shot. You smile, she…smiles(?), we’re all happy, and once you praise her for the great modeling she’s done, you let her off the leash to frolic about. You check that beautiful device of yours… Blurry. All that effort and on-the-spot training you put to use wasn’t good enough for your camera apparently. Not to worry though. You notice that some of your other attempts weren’t all that bad after all… Both of you are in the shot, for the most part. Both of you are having fun, so it appears at least. You have that shot you wanted, and more! You just gained an unforgettable memory!

*New Achievement Earned!*

Have any great/silly shots of you & your animals?