Hilarious relatable stories about dogs

Archive for April, 2012

Brawl

Tails flying, tables falling, barks echoing. It’s apparent to all that dogs just seem to fight over anything. The ball, the attention, the food, anything! My dogs aren’t an exception. Just as you think they’ve calmed down, another problem occurs.

The ball thief, Diesel, will tease Audi until she goes nuts! She circles around, always keeping one eye on Audi. Of course Audi falls into her plans and circles around with her, runs around the house, and tugs at whatever Diesel has. They jump and growl, but finally all manners are out the window. The ball goes flying, barks start echoing, paws are up in the air as they jump on each other, and then come the not-so-dangerous bites. After everyone’s tired of their rustling, they waddle on outside and park themselves in a nice sunny spot. One lays down, the other plants her head on the other’s back, and they stay silent until the next uprising.

It’s almost like our sibling rivalries.

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Why?

We all know dogs love to eat, and mine especially. There’s some dogs you could hold a kibble to there whiskers and they wouldn’t even flinch, but then there’s my dog. Sure you can hand feed her if you want to lose a finger or two, I just wouldn’t advise it.

Every morning I let her out, and as we come in she sits on the stairs oh so patiently, but as you touch her collar to remove the leash, she whips her head back, books it around the corner whilst almost knocking you down, and she runs for the food dish sitting like an angel as if nothing had happened.  Grab a cup full. Watch her spin in circles as if that will get her more. Pour the kibble and watch her drop to the ground on cue. I look at her, she’s still hovering off the ground a little bit, so I wait 5 more seconds and she lowers… Get it I tell her and she does a Scooby Doo run-in-place type maneuver, dashing for the food and she eats it as if it were her last and she had to compete with a million wolves to get it! She scarves it down and of course she has to search all around the room to see if she missed one kibble, but she didn’t so she’ll have to lick the floor just because that makes sense, right?

I don’t understand these dogs that wolf down their meals every time, even though there’s nobody else around or even willing to go near her whilst she feasts. I suppose she will never change and that’s just a part of her “personality”, but geeze it can’t be healthy.

Any advice to those dogs/owners?


Sometimes

Sometimes you have those days… Those days that nothing seems to be going right. Those days that just draaag on forever it seems. Those days are when the good things in life shine. The good things like the sound of rain hitting the gutter, overflowing into a waterfall, streaming down onto the pavement. When you go outside to let the dog out, and all you can hear is frogs croaking and crickets chirping

As you go out to walk the dog, you’re still feeling aloof, but you start to notice something. She’s actually behaving…? She walks beside you, picking up a random stick every now & then, but still, she’s actually behaving! A grin creeps across your face. This, this is amazing. You feel accomplished. You feel like you’re on top of the world, and you want this walk to never end. As you carry on, focusing less on the dog, WHACK! She picked up a 5 foot /log/ and tried to run ahead of you, but little does she know, she almost knocked you down the hill! You laugh and giggle, and she does it again & again, but you still smirk.

The walk soon ends, you come home happy, and you’re little buddy still wants to play. If you’re interested, but of course you are, you’re going to lay on the ground playing with all her toys. Tug-o-war, fetch, and just the regular fun stuff goes on. Sometimes it takes a day like that to really notice the bright side of things. Take down the protective bubble, and be free. Have blast!

Ever have a day like that?


The Things We Do…

Yes it happens, we do sometimes change our routes on walks, or randomly pretend to tie our shoes just to get an extra couple seconds behind certain people before a trail… It’s not like we don’t like the people… well maybe sometimes they can be a bit chatty, but that’s besides the point.

You’ve been through the pulling, the barking, the jumping, and just the strange people… Sometimes it’s okay to think ahead as you see a couple slowly walk into that trail that you allllways go on. You imagine how funny it would be getting brown, muddy paw prints all over her white pants or his favorite hoodie, but you decide not to… So you do that awkward slow-paced walk to the mouth of the trail, then you just do anything for maybe a minute or two, because you know that once you’re on that trail, you’re going to run so fast that you’ll almost go straight off the side and into the water. Because of the dog? No. Because it’s fun!

You walk along the streets do you? So nowhere to hide basically… Well it’s all fun and games when she’s a cute puppy trying to give the crazy dog lady down the street “hugs & kisses” but when they get older, they don’t seem as cute for some reason… “Can she have a treat” they ask acting like that’ll make the dog quiet and polite… Yeah right! But you say yes, not to be rude or anything, but then it’s time to go.

You decide, “Hey, it’s a nice rainy day, who’s going to be out there?” HA! Little do you know several people are at their doorway just waiting for you two to step outside. Ahhhh the typical routine goes on and you go home the same as always, a little annoyed, still happy, and plotting a new plan of attack.

What’s your best story?


Embrace It…


Why Dogs?

Why would I EVER want a dog? After hearing about the holes in the ground, the yellow carpet stains, and don’t forget about those dogs at 5 in the morning howling for attention. This may be for some, maybe most dogs, but there is a bright side. We all went through it, and even though you may feel alone & embarrassed, the next dog walker you pass will most likely admit it too.

Those temporary disasters don’t last forever, and by the time you put the new door up and hide the holes in the deck, you’ll know what’s wrong. We all have to give our dogs attention, and though you may just want to hide him/her or even yourself in the basement, that wont solve anything… for long.

Those are only a part of the fun of dogs! When you’re reading good book, or watching a horror film and just as the naive woman decides to go in the basement in nothing but a robe, you feel the wettest, longest, and the creepiest lick on the bottom of your foot causing you to jump & scream! If that wasn’t enough fun, wait until you go back to your childish days. Laying on the ground even though there’s a perfectly fine La-Z-Boy couch dying for your attention. You’re not alone though, lonely dog that you haven’t seen in a while has to craaawl over to you and lay flat on your chest. “Problem?” you can see him ask. No, there isn’t a problem, because right after, you roll over and get comfy.

No, dogs may not be the subtlest of animals, and maybe they are just interested what’s underneath that fresh deck, but they do have their bright sides and this blog is going to invite you into both sides of the story.

Can you relate to these feelings?